More of a 'To Do' List, Really

This morning's coffee time is more like a starting line. There's no cream, just milk, so I feel in a rush to get to the store.

School work lately is very self-directed. Many real life things are included like resume building and driver's education and keep your room clean and your laundry caught up and PLEASE get rid of the clutter. A provincial credit course - hopefully our last - in in progress. This unit is Biology and we're having fun supplementing with the Crash Course Biology videos. The kids are keeping up with their peer run book club. We're looking at Romeo and Juliet this month. I really need to share a blog about our Shakespeare experience. I very well may have got this one thing right. Recently we switched from Saxon math to Teaching Textbooks. The Boy is working his way through Algebra 1; The Girl has recently finished it and is waiting for her neglectful parents to obtain Algebra 2. She's very patient. Both kids, having put on the writing brakes, have been cajoled onto working through an upper elementary/early high school writing program. It's bare bones, but introduces the important writing styles, gives examples and sets out a choice of assignments. And, of course, the calibre of writing emerging from their heads is super.

Today's school work is called Home Ec. Cleaning up and being on stand-by for the new fridge to be delivered. Hopefully. The cooler and bins are waiting to be loaded and set outside, but that won't be happening until there's an actual new fridge in my house. A grocery trip this morning is so overdue that The Boy has volunteered to come along and help. Poor hungry teenager. After lunch, I have a meeting and The Boy will come along as he has a volunteering gig on Friday afternoons. The Girl has a social engagement, which is not surprising.

Today is the day that packing up our house will officially commence. In 4 short weeks we will have a new house. The books are the first to be packed. I can do without them for 28 days....right??

♥Mrs. A.

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Happy Birthday To Me!

There was quite a ramp-up to my birthday this year. Shortly after Christmas, Mr. A. decided that I needed to have a birthday party. He also decided to plan it - all by himself.

The actual party was to be modelled after a birthday party which we had recently attended. My niece turned 2 and the theme for the adults in attendance was 'pizza and beer'. (The kids who were there didn't notice as they were distracted by the fancy Dora cake and the Toys R Us explosion that they call their 'living room'.)

I found it all quite amusing. In the month leading up to my big day, Mr. A. took every opportunity to sneak in a secret whisper about some aspect of my birthday whenever my back was slightly turned. He dropped hints and made me guess and even roped the kids into his shenanigans over the gift I was to receive.

He took a half day off work while the kids were at a drama workshop the day before my birthday. We spent that afternoon going all over town picking up food and drink and party things. Not only was there going to be pizza and beer at my party - we were going to surprise everyone with a loot bag.

The morning of my birthday, I had been instructed to stay in bed. So I did. In my mind I was thinking that perhaps coffee would be delivered. That would be a nice birthday wake up. Not so. I needed to stay in bed so that I could be invited down to the living room once 'things were ready'.

Things were ready at the bright hour of 7:30, thanks to the dogs and much to the distress of The Girl Child. Mr. A. had prepared a treasure hunt for my birthday. There were rhyming clues - wrapped in birthday paper - and I had to go about the house searching for the next one until finally I found the 'treasure' in the potato bin.

My family had worked extra hard to drop hints in such a way that I was to think, perhaps, that I might have a lovely new Kobo to call my very own on my birthday. Sure enough, I unwrapped my treasure to find a nice white box with a picture of a Kobo and all the other appropriate labelling on board. Imagine my surprise when I uncovered a fancy iPad under all the packaging!

So much excitement and all before 8 in the morning...on a still-dark, pajama clad Saturday morning. I know, you're welcome for the photos!

Later on, when it was dark again (love me these Canadian winters...) my extended family arrived for pizza and beer and celebrating. There were even balloons and streamers. I tell you, Mr. A. pulled out all the stops for my party. He even managed to get 37 candles on a cake.

Missing from the celebrations were my two brothers who considered an overnight in Algonquin Park courting moose and barely-hibernating bears a priority. That's ok. They're jealous because they didn't get a loot bag.

So that's the short and sweet story of my birthday last weekend. There were some other lovely gifts and cards that really made my day. I don't usually enjoy this time of year as it's always so weary and dreary and dirty and gritty and cold and icy and everyone's so tired of winter and cooped up and miserable. This year was surprisingly refreshing. Not only due to the very strange, seasonaly surprising, mild winter weather we've been having but because of so much silliness and carrying-on as my birthday approached. Mr. A did a super good job keeping everything light and fun and stress-free. And surprisingly, I didn't really mind all the extra attention after all was said and done.



Here's to another trip around the Sun,

♥Mrs. A.

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Happy New Year!

Today dawned bright and early with a lovely headache. Which steadily got worse. Happy New Year to me.

The holidays have been full of visiting and family. Much of that family has been plagued by a nasty hang-on sort of cold and/or a mysterious flu-like affliction. With so much obligatory visiting (nothing like spending a week together vacationing to give the germs a chance to spread around) and a couple of cuddly, climbing babies, it's no wonder people were always at varying stages of incubation.

I think I made it through the holidays mostly illness free by sheer force of will. Either that or the universe knew not to tempt my wrath by messing with my schedule. These last two days have been the only 'do nothing' days I've had since the beginning of December. Noone has to go anywhere, do anything, the kids have do-it-yourself food options and lots of stuff to do and Mr. A has more new video games and gadgets than he has time for. If that's not a perfect set up for a Mom to take some sick time, I don't know what is!

So with much thanks to a short-yet-violent migraine or a 12-hour virus, I count myself included in the group of extended family who experienced every sort of state of being over the holiday. I'm just very thankful that I didn't have to be miserable at a family dinner or while laying poolside in the hot sun.

Tomorrow we return to regularly scheduled programming. I begin thinking of school work, groceries and meal plans. I look forward to catching up with friends who were also busy with extended family over the holidays. Perhaps it's the sheer amount of social media sending me messages, but I am feeling the motivation to go through closets and cupboards to reorganize and purge.

I hope your New Year's Day was more noteworthy and celebratory.

~Mrs. A.

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March Madness

Today was a March Madness day. My people were here, there and everywhere requiring this, that and more. On top of it all, I had a number of responsibilities and obligations to meet.

One of today's obligations included the creation and distribution of Mint Oreo Truffles. Yum!

Perhaps it's my age. Perhaps it's just years and years of trying, but I must say that I'm proud of myself for accomplishing all of today's 'to do's without the usually meltdown...which usually manifests itself in the form of a flappable, loud, ornery and barely productive woman. Yea me.

It's interesting to see the difference in their needs as my kids get older. Still needy, but in a totally different way than when they were toddlers requiring all sorts of physically demanding care. Although, I do have to question the increased amount of lap-time being required by a certain Miss K. Not that I mind, but she is taller than me now, and quickly gaining on me in the mass department as well.

I suppose I notice the differing needs more these days as my siblings have begun having babies. And nice babies. I'm sure my babies were just as nice...I'm sure I would have properly noticed if I hadn't been so sleep deprived. So I'm thankful that I'm able to stay home and spend every day with my grown-up babies.

Now I'm off to relax and bask in the glow of a productive day. Tomorrow I'll wake up and try to do it all aver again.

~Mrs. A.

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Mondays...

This Fall, Mondays are particularly busy. I think today was fairly typical in scheduling, but it was better than many of my typical Mondays of late. I think I might be getting my Monday-act together...

After everyone has been fed and watered and we shovel up the weekend clutter it's usually around 9a.m. Monday mornings give us only an hour or so for any bookwork we want to accomplish. It's not too difficult to get the kids to hit the books on Mondays. I have them start with their journals. The Girl Child writes copious amounts - her biographer is going to have lots to sift through! The Boy Child, not so much. He's more matter of fact. 'Required' journal writing for The Boy amounts to a sentence per 'grade' so he's up to 6 sentences per journal entry. And that's a very loose definition of 'sentence' I'm using.

At 11a.m. I start getting the afternoon set up. The kids are sent to grab themselves a snack and then they pack another for later. I prepare lunch for Mr. A and myself and set it aside. French books and skating things are gathered and packed into the car. Today I dressed for a run and dug out my iPod. We left the house at 11:45.

My very good friend has taken it upon herself to teach a group of homeschoolers - her two included - French this school year. She's gone to a huge amount of work to plan weekly lessons for 5 families of kids, ages 8 through 15. The kids spend an hour and a half doing games and activities, vocab and dialogue. The focus is on spending time speaking the language which is awesome for my two-kid crew. The Boy and The Girl are quite well versed in their vocab, writing and reading skills. The speaking-out-loud has been a bone of contention in our past school years.

Today was the first Monday I snuck away from the other moms at French. I went for a miserable little run. I haven't run since the summer, really, so I was speaking fairly sternly with myself about the degree of laziness and depression that was taking over. I went for half an hour, 'running' for 3 minutes then walking for 1. Once I was done, I was glad I had done it. It's amazing how long improved cardiovascular fitness can hang on. I never thought I'd get 6 intervals completed today. I zipped home to change my muddy, wet running pants. While there, I constructed lunch for Mr. A and delivered it to his basement office (he's programming today and tends to focus in on his work and forgets altogether about regular bodily routines like caloric intake) before heading back to pick up the kids.

After French, we trek over to the local rink and spend an hour skating. The local homeschoolers have sort of dominated the 'Parent & Tot' time slot for the past few years. It was a quiet takeover...beginning years ago when the children blended in with those every-other-day kindergartners. Today there were 15 homeschoolers plus a bunch of moms on the ice.

Once we're home things depend on The Boy Child's hockey schedule. If he plays early, at 4:30p.m., we usually relax and snack before heading out the door at 4:15p.m. There are beefits to living in the rink's backyard! Today he played late, at 5:30p.m., so we had time to focus on some geography for a half hour before snacking and re-packing the hockey bag. I cleaned the kitchen and The Girl made pizza crust which we left in the warm oven to rise while we were at the rink.

At home, after hockey, I focus on getting some sort of food on the table fairly immediately. The low blood sugar is pretty apparent by this time on Monday. It's nice when we sit down to eat. Everyone knows that their responsibilities have been taken care of for the day. Relax mode starts to kick in. I like hearing about the kids' day - even though I've been there for most of it. I find it terribly interesting how different our experiences are even though we share the same space and activities.

We had a nice family evening culminating in apple crisp before bedtime. I'm watching the results of the local election and will head off to bed shortly. Hopefully next Monday will go as smoothly as today. Methinks if I keep up with weekend laundry and regular meal planning like a good, responsible grown up, I shouldn't have any problems.

~Mrs. A.

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Draining, Frustrating, Very Bad, No Good Day

I'm sitting here this evening - with my second coffee of the day (yea me!) - reflecting on the kind of day I had.

I had a bad day. It was a Sad Mom Day. It's well on its way to being a Mom Gives Up and Hides In Bed Day.

I don't like to be so negative. Usually, as soon as I start to own my bad day, my thoughts immediately start to rebel and I think, "Surely something wasn't so bad today!" Then, the happy part of my brain gets out the frilly stationary and starts to make a list. It's very annoying.

So here I sit purposefully reflecting on my bad day. No one felt cared for or nurtured today. We were all so fragmented that someone's needs were an infringement for someone else. The Girl Child was sad and frustrated. The Boy Child was not feeling well and anxious. I was pretending to be patient which frustrates Mr. A. to the ends of his patience.

In a particularly harried moment between The Boy and his sister, I calmly said, "And that display just earned you both an 8:30 bedtime." I haven't scaled back bedtime in years. In fact, it's been years since they even had a bedtime. We have bedguidelines around here.

I explained to The Girl Child - with The Boy hovering close by - that my parenting toolbox only had so many tools in it. (One of those tools being patience.) If the tools had to be pulled out and used up early in the day, then there wouldn't be any left by the end of the day.

The kids laughed at me. At least the tension was diffused. For the moment.

From there the day continued falling down the hill. The Girl Child dug in her heels and The Boy Child overcompensated.

I thought perhaps a little large muscle activity and sunshine would improve everyone's demeanor. At the very least, a quiet house would improve Mr. A's. I took The Boy, The Girl and The Blue Eyed Bandit downtown. We walked by the river and along the bike trail to my sister's house. I knew she probably wouldn't be home, but the kids didn't know that and the dog didn't care. We ended up walking for an hour. I persisted with my happy patience, The Boy talked a blue streak and The Girl walked four feet behind with her arms crossed. The. Whole. Way.

Later on at home, I cleaned up and made dinner while Mr. A worked late. The kids waited for dinner. I was biding my time. When everyone's blood sugar was sufficiently stabilized I started cleaning up the day's mental and emotional debris.

Throughout the cleanup, I was methodical and precise. The menfolk, bless their hearts, were uncomplicated. Eventually, though, I had to draw very clear lines in the sand between The Girl and I.

I seriously hope it's true that kids test limits because they want boundaries. The Girl Child was reminded of some key boundaries. She wasn't too sure that the boundaries should apply to her. The Girl was reminded that although the boundaries are not flexible, there were certain privileges and 'perks' that are not only flexible, they are downright removable. Imagine how clear and uncluttered those pesky boundaries would be if I were to remove all of that perky privilege!

By bedtime - yes, at 8:30pm - everyone was calm and relaxed. Thank goodness. Pleasant words and kind voices were back in residence. We're all looking forward to tomorrow. Ok, most of us are looking forward to most of tomorrow. There's a science project that is looming over a certain 7th grader's head.

So here I sit questioning myself. My homeschool. My relationships. My parenting path. My decision to take 10th grade 'Clothing' when obviously someone should have been teaching 'How To Parent Your Adolescent'.

I'm hoping the emotional dramatics are hormones and that with patience and loving and lots of talking there will be no permanent damage. I'm hoping that I can find the tools I need to do a better job for all of us.

All on two cups of coffee a day.

Please send chocolate,

♥ Mrs. A

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Today Was A Dentist Day

Today was Dentist Day. On a Dentist Day, I usually get dressed in my Mother Guilt and gear up for a busy day and a lighter wallet.

Today was no different. We had an early lunch and drove the hour to the pediatric dentist in the next big town to the west. The nice thing about going to the city is that there is plenty of opportunity for big, shiny carrots to dangle in front of my mostly miserable offspring.

The poor things are miserable because in the dental DNA department (the source of my Mother Guilt), they got the short end of the stick. For every cleaning they've ever had, there is usually a more serious problem to fix, patch or pull. This particular visit involved trying to rebuild a molar for The Boy and three extractions for The Girl.

Before even approaching the dentist's office today, we hit the toy store. This carrot was to distract The Boy Child so that he did not become too anxious before his appointment. He returned a duplicated Christmas gift and received a store credit which turned his logical, number crunching brain to money matters. Nothing was bought, but the discussion from the toy store to the dentist's chair encompassed all matters related to saving allowance, finding online product reviews and creating calendar checkpoints leading up to the potential purchase day.

He was not a happy camper when he assumed the position in the examination chair. It's the needles that set him off. Well, it's the idea of the needles, really. Once the nitrous oxide is flowing and the topical numbing agent has been applied, the needles are a piece of cake. He always stops the dentist to tell her that it was not nearly as bad as he thought it was going to be. Clear sailing for the rest of the appointment. The Boy and his brittle, weak enamel are patched up for another few months. The Boy returned to the waiting room where he immediately began organizing the office's meager Lego supply.

I had the job of taking The Girl to the examination room. By the hand. She felt it her duty to pretend a dramatic display of dental angst. Even though she's very near to being taller than me, she still needs to let everyone know that her miserable 12-year old life is all my fault. The Girl handles her stress and anxiety more quietly than her brother. Sarcasm and dramatics are popular tools of hers. But very soon the nitrous oxide was flowing again and the needles were tolerated with only a wee bit of toe curling. A bit of elbow grease on the part of the dentist and The Girl was three teeth lighter. For some unexplained reason, these primary teeth were hanging in there for the long haul.

The Girl was quite concerned, but not about the gaping spaces in her smile. She wanted her proverbial carrot. Still dozey from the gas, she wanted to make sure we were able to get to the book store before we left for home. She was so concerned, in fact, that the dentist had to set the timer so that she would keep her groggy butt parked until she was cleared for take-off.

I won't even get into how drugged I felt after the appointments when my funds were frozen and extracted. Please send your sympathies to zehnplus@gmail.com...

Soon I found myself in the book store with two drooly, slurring kids, one of who was very clearly not herself. Normally quite animated in the book store, The Girl was wandering around like the walking wounded. She couldn't find one appealing thing for me to buy for her. A clear sign that she should rest. One Universe book later, picked out by The Boy, we were on our way.

The kids were such troopers today. I'm proud of the way they handled themselves. As stressed out and anxious as they were, they were steady and brave when the going got tough. They were good company, considerate travellers and mature conversationalists. All the sibling 'issues' I see in a regular day disappeared and resurfaced as kind words and empathy for each other. (I suppose misery really does love company?!) At the end of the day, I am reminded of how great my kids are.

I am also reminded that they are not stupid. I'm off to do something about the three teeth under my 12-year old's pillow. Did I mention how much today is costing me??!

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Oh, What To Do?!

Today, I have had a day to myself. Sans kidlets. To tell you the truth, I have felt a little lost.

Today, I woke a bit early and pried The Girl and The Boy out of their warm beds. I put The Boy in the shower and gave The Girl a wide berth. (She needed a minute...or twelve.) They dressed nicely, packed a bag of electronics stuff to do on a car trip and meditated on the couch while I made breakfast smoothies and packed a cooler lunch.

At 8, my mom and dad picked them up to whisk them away to lands unknown. Ok, I - the responsible adult in their lives - know where they are going. However, my parents wanted to keep it a surprise for the kids. The Boy was a little anxious and The Girl a little grumpy about this, but I was prepared to let my parents deal with the consequences of their Very Good Plan.

They are off to the big city to see a very good show - Ovo. They will love it. It will be their second Cirque show. Last year, we saw 'O' in Vegas and it was the highlight of the trip.

Today I have walked the dog, dropped a baby crib on my toe, been to the library, registered the kids for indoor soccer, coloured timeline figures, watched the Cosby Show and Extreme Home Makeover, enjoyed a quiet lunch with Mr.B, admired the new grass growing in the backyard and completed only a very minimal amount of housework. When Mr.B completes his workday, we will take the Thanksgiving turkey from my freezer to my mom's fridge, return merchandise to WalMart, walk my dad's dog, drink expensive Starbuck's coffee (we call it Morebuck's) and figure out some dinner. If I am very sneaky, I may even be able to trick Mr.B into pant shopping at Winner's and some chick-flick viewing. Keep your fingers crossed.

I suppose that I have made good use of my day. I'm not really sure what I should be doing when the kids aren't here. Sure there are things I should be doing. I could go out on a limb and actually plan something significant when I know they're not going to be here. But October crept up on me unbelievably quickly and I found myself getting everything ready for the kids' trip yesterday. Noone around here makes plans with 12-hour notice. And really, I have no kidless, non-working friends to make plans with. I feel a little caught-off-guard without my regular entourage and regular weekday schedule.

So there you have it: the meandering thoughts of a homeschooling mother who finds herself kidless for the first time in a very long time.

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A Day In The Life...

~Monday, September 14, 2009~

Monday morning dawned brisk and chilly. Not that I went out in it. I was in the kitchen as soon as I pulled myself out of bed as Mr. B was travelling for work. I made him lunch and coffee and sent him on his way. After a quick shower, I started the laundry.

While I was doing a quick perusal of the blogosphere, The Boy Child emerged. Normally, he cozies up on the couch for a wake-up, but yesterday he was stoked: First Day of Hockey. We went downstairs to try on his gear. Nothing like leaving it to the last 9 hours. I rebooted the laundry while The Boy showed me he could put all his gear on by himself. Except for a jersey...and skates...This is an improvement compared to the years I have all but poured him into his gear. My goal is to be out of my dressing room responsibilities by Christmas.

The Girl Child was up and about before we were done with the hockey gear. She hits the computer and the kitchen immediately upon stumbling downstairs in the mornings. I don't mind that much. She has two friends she keeps in touch with via chat, email and private webpage because they live out of town a ways.

After we all had a bit of something to eat (I have to remind The Boy to eat every day), I jump-started our morning with a half-hour of housework. We had a busy day planned and after my feelings about last week's first week of school, I was not looking forward to schoolwork. But, I figured perhaps it would be an ok day since we had so much more to do.

We were at the table together at about 9:45. We motored through a bit of journaling, a math lesson each, a reading in Story of the World 3 and the chapter review questions. The Girl surprised me by asking to take notes while I read aloud. She continued to do so through the Q & A. Then she composed a very thorough paragraph. The Boy composed a paragraph, but the agreement is that I will scribe it into his notebook for him. Neither of the kids were looking forward to the 'narration' part of things this year, but I'm hoping that they will come around. This was our second attempt and I was impressed with the results. We then cracked open the French we're using this year and began the first unit. The Girl really likes this program we're using: L'Art de Lire (book 3). The Boy is not in love with it at all. I might have to find something different for him later on if he can't find his French Groove. It was noon; we were done with the books for today.

The Girl ran off to get ready to go for our afternoon. I helped her out with the hair straightener and then I had a go at my mop. The Boy needed to tape his stick. Again. This required the use of the beloved Swiss Army Knife. Pretty much any job that might possibly maybe probably could use a Swiss Army Knife becomes a priority for The Boy these days. We made a quick lunch of sandwiches and fruit. We had a bit of a talk about the propaganda pamphlet that showed up in the mailbox regarding the H1N1 Flu.

Before we left the house, I pulled up a couple of webpages and the kids and I figured out the most efficient way to use the city bus to get us downtown and back home later on. Round trip: $12. Cheaper than taking a cab. Our co-operative plan worked out perfectly. Walk .5km, grab a bus. Transfer. Argue politely over who gets to pull the stop-cord. Arrive near our destination and walk a block.

We were meeting up with a large-ish group of homeschoolers to attend a Library Orientation. The new children's librarian put together a really great, interactive program for the kids. I was very impressed because, as I'm sure you can guess, a library tour can get a wee bit dry. The kids learned a lot about the reference areas and they spent a good amount of time looking at the resources they don't really use: books on CD, microfiche, newspapers and magazines. They got pretty good at using the search catalogue as well. The Girl will head back in two weeks time for the 'advanced' orientation program. I'm going as well. I'm interested in learning about the online databases available to library users.

We had just enough time after the program to grab a junkie snack at a nearby Tim Hortons. We walked over to the bus stop and waited, snacked and talked. The bus ride home was uneventful as was the walk home.

I was surprised that Mr. B was not yet home from his day when we arrived home at 4:30. We peeled the Skittish White Dog from the ceiling and got her to stop bouncing around shortly after we managed to force our way past her and into the house. The kids were dispatched to do a wardrobe change while I attended to a mouthguard fitting in the kitchen. THe kids had to fed for themselves when they announced they were famished. Snacks were had in front of a favourite cartoon - Phinneas & Ferb - while I did the laundry and tracked down Mr. B.

The Boy dressed for hockey in the living room and we were back out the door at 5:10. I hadn't arranged dinner and was a little worried that it would be chaos and low-blood sugar fits when we returned home.

Hockey was great as usual. The Boy was anxious, as usual. It was shortlived. The kids on the ice did skills and drills before a scrimmage. It's a good thing they use the first couple of weeks to get to know the players and balance the teams. The Boy was quick to let me know that he scored 3, assisted 2, saved 2 and set 'Spencer' up for a goal. He likes to keep track of stuff like that.

After we got home I played short-order cook in the kitchen. We did a bacon and eggs dinner. Four different types of eggs. I tossed a last egg on the hot pan as I was clearing the stove once everyone else had their dinners. I made it to the table just as the kids were finishing. I'll get better as the season progresses. Note to self: Don't make plans on the afternoons The Boy has hockey. Especially if Mr. B. is out of town.

At 8, The Boy turned up with a bad headache so he carted himself off to bed. The Girl was deep in a book enjoying the first quiet time of her day. The laundry was done, the kitchen cleaned up and Mr. B finally shut off his work PC as The Girl went off to bed at 9:30. He and I vegged on the couch for an hour and then we turned in ourselves.

All in all, a busy day. I was very impressed that it all turned out as well as it did. Now, the next time a busy day rolls around, my goal is to make sure the Skittish White Dog gets her walk.

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